WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO KNOW.

Many of you have seen the occasional, innocuous fortune teller app on Facebook. You will have good fortune today. You should avoid ladders today. Your cat will die today, etc etc. Surely there's nothing wrong with that kind of thing. I mean, why would I care if a weak minded, severely codependent person with an i.q of 50 chooses to believe that they will succeed in averting suffering and angst by listening to an internet-based crystal ball a web server run by a group of weed-smoking hippies?








Introducing What God Wants You to Know.

Ooh. Sounds epic.
I have one question, though.
How exactly do you, a lifeless human being sitting in front of a keyboard in the comfort of his home and a bowl of Chachos, know what God wants me(and the hundreds of thousands of idiots and/or sheep who use this application and believe that God is speaking to them via a FACEBOOK APPLICATION) to know? Are you God? Did God ordain you with the divine right to prophesy to the masses via Facebook?

Probably not.

While the advice that is offered by the writers of this application may be relevant in some way to your lives, you should remember that simply because the advice is useful, it does not mean that it is God himself who is conveying his will through a FACEBOOK APPLICATION, as I have mentioned previously.

Rather, all this seems to originate from some kind of a new-age spirituality cult. Nobody can tell you what God wants for you, as you are the only person who can know that, through your personal relationship with Him, through your own interpretations of scripture.

No matter how good the advice may be, no matter how deeply the words written upon your Facebook page have affected your outlook on life and the decisions you have made or will make, it is still an insult to God and the whole concept of Christianity. It's all very good to listen to a fresh perspective, and to change your outlook on things. However, it is a completely different thing to insult the name of God, make profit from it, and to mislead hordes of people by appealing to their spirituality as well as their complete stupidity.

As if that isn't bad enough, holy balls they even do advertising. They make money by the truckloads here. 10 cents per ad + hundreds and thousands of daily users of this application = Daily ad views + constant source of revenue.
And they have a special service for paying members, too! Pay 18 USD to relieve yourself of the burden of viewing ads plzkthx, since that's probably more than we will ever make from you in an entire lifetime.

Practically all of this revenue is profit.
The only thing that the app creators mentioned was that it costs thousands of dollars to run the server every month. From 'costs', I'm going to assume this primarily reflects the volume of traffic their server receives each month.
Do take into account that the amount of bandwidth the server saps reflects the amount of users who visit the app.
Also, do remember that the larger the amount of users, the larger the amount of ad revenue that will be obtained by the creators of this app.

Evidently, this isn't just some gimmick designed by some stupid redneck with good intentions. Rather, it's a mindless corporate endeavour to commercialize Christianity by a bunch of 'Aunt Agony' rejects, who will continue to churn out this balderdash as they laugh all the way to the bank.

Paraphrasing a famous English proverb, blasphemy is blasphemy, even if called by any other name.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say here, is that What God Wants You to Know is an over-glorified fortune cookie.

AN OPEN LETTER.

To: Man Living across the street. (MLatS)

Dear MLatS,

I would consider it rather helpful if you could refrain from SCREAMING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. It is reassuring to think that suburban housing areas are meant to be quiet, pleasant places in which peace and solitude are king, where days will slowly transition to nights, and nights into another day of excitement, or in the case of my cohort, more studying. Then, you come into the equation.

I understand that it may be your basal nature to arbitrarily scream at your offspring in the middle of the night for reasons that might best be described as incredulous and/or stupid to many. Maybe it's in the genes. While your daughter may be a complete idiot, based on the frequency and amount of time you spend shouting at her, you are likely no better.
You neither work, nor own a car. You spend your days lazing around the house while reading newspapers/watching football.
Unless sitting around your porch without wearing a shirt qualifies as working, unless you are advertising famous corporation logos on your oversized man-titties, perhaps earning 200k per year, then feel free to mock me and my inferiority.

So I'm happily(?) reading my History book, hoping not to completely PHAIL my exams. I'm in a good pace, memorising things at an alright rate. Everything seems to be going well, as if I'm going to pass for once.

And then you scream. And my concentration is broken. And I decide to ignore you for a bit. I come back after two hours. You're still screaming for some inexplicable reason. I get frustrated. I give up. Then, you stop screaming. At this point, I have no more mood to study.

Indeed, MLatS, I believe that your decision to raise your voice to a volume of 120 decibels while criticizing(nitpicking) a small girl for flaws that only exist in your head does indeed carry noble intentions in some distorted way. Perhaps you think that this arbitrary explosion of noise and fury will convince the child into submitting to your will. Perhaps you think that this will help produce an academia-obsessed zombie who will bring you and your family out of the poverty trap. That is because you are retarded.
Please do consider the possibility that your endeavours will instead produce a depressed woman with broken eardrums. A depressed woman with broken eardrums who subsists on government aid and doesn't even have enough money to send you to the old folks' home.

Dear MLatS, it is all well and fine to reprimand your children periodically, to ensure that they do not show insubordination against you and that they do not grow up to become the scum of society. Must you do it every day, though? If your children are that horrible and they do indeed deserve the scoldings you give them(which is unlikely), I suggest sending them in an airtight package to the Fiji Islands.

Barring that, perhaps being unemployed and stupid for the past 40 years has bored you to tears, made you so jaded with life to the point where your only source of relief lies in shouting expletives at your own daughter.

(Bleep) you very much. Please rot in a ditch where nobody can see you. Or at least somewhere where I don't have to listen to you while attempting to remember the names and deeds of our pathetic Malay 'heroes'.


Thank you.

Pissed-off student.

Gradually.. Gradually..

We edge to the starting line.

We hide ourselves behind masks of clay, obscuring the world from knowing our true selves, our emotions securely hidden behind a myriad of changing expressions that never reflect our true thoughts. Though our faces may show compassion, but our hearts only feel disdain and discontentment. Slowly, insidiously, we move up the rungs of the corporate ladder by the virtue of these masks. Despite their hard and inflexible appearance, however, these masks of ours are brittle, riddled with microscopic imperfections that will only accumulate as time passes, and the days go by. When your mask finally shatters, and everything crashes to the ground, will you scramble and trip in the darkness as you reach for the broken pieces? Or will you embrace the light, stand up straight, and show your true face to the world? I suspect that many of us will choose the former.

Eternal life?

I found this rather intriguing question on SocialInterview.com. You know, that Facebook app that generates questions that you respond to in your own way and post on your profile/other people's walls. The question is as follows:

"If you could live forever as a really old person, would you accept?"

I contemplated what I should think about this for quite a bit, really. I must admit, the thought has crossed my mind more than once, given that the opportunities that so much time would provide me with would be immense. I could obtain all the knowledge in this world. And wouldn't it be tempting to slowly accumulate power from the shadows and eventually control the world? Then, I thought about the implications from a more realistic perspective, and I formulated my response, since I am lifeless, sad, and I heck care about SPM. =_=

So, do I want to live forever as a really old person?
No.
Why? Now, I'd like you to think about it this way. I'm going to assume that, in this context, living forever is equivalent to immortality. You cannot kill yourself. Regardless of the circumstances, you will continue to exist as a sentient, albeit old human being with no physical imperfections.

So it begins.

You accept the offer from the suspicious, hooded man referring to himself only as 'Mephistopheles', forfeiting your right to peaceful rest in favour of eternal roaming. As you live your life on this planet, the people around you gradually age, their beauty becoming but a fleeting shadow of the past. Eventually, they succumb to senescence, and die.
Yet, you remain as unchanged as ever, despite the deaths of the friends who used to surround you having passed by many, many years ago. Soon enough, people will start to realize that that old man/woman living in the abandoned shack isn't normal. Your documents show that you are the oldest person on this planet, and you are placed in the Guinness book of world records. At this point, all of the friends you previously had are gone. Nobody is able to identify with you, nobody is willing to accompany you, and you are alone in the world.
Your accursed existence continues, as you walk the Earth, your life lacking meaning or direction. Before you know it, years pass as if they were blinks of an eye. You are an outcast at this point, a monster scorned by all. Science attempted to solve the mystery behind your indefinite lifespan, and it had failed, for there was no explanation that man could formulate based on objectivity and empirical science. Persecuted by society, you isolate yourself from the world. Your perception of time quickens up steadily as you grow weary of life.
The burden of living a sordid, unfulfilled existence eats away at your soul, leaving it nigh but an empty husk. Five billion years pass by. The Earth has decayed away due to uncontrolled pollution, and the sun has just lysed in a magnificent display of galactic fireworks. Despite this, you are not dead. The fireworks cause you to wake up, for the first time in what many humans would deem 'forever'. However, your brain, not having being used for the past four billion years, is no longer capable of rational thought, let alone pondering the day you foolishly decided to choose everlasting life. The memories are all gone. The dear ones, the bitter ones, the sad ones, and the happy ones.
Having cried all the tears that you could have ever cried during your lifetime, your eyes are dry.
The emotions cannot be expressed, neither in words nor physical gestures.
And there you will remain, in outer space, with nothing to look forward to, nor anything to look back to, forever, and ever.

Blogging:

Never before have so many had so few to say yet said so much to so few.